java

The java programming language is becoming more and more popular each day. It is the language without which one cannot even hope to a land a job these days. But has somebody even wondered how this language came about? There are many stories about, many books have been written. Here is my version (not approved by Sun Microsystems).

"Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” very, very long pause… “Java.”

9:00 AM Project manager: "Where is Jack?" Java programmer: "Know, he is always lazy loadded." 1:00 PM: Project manager: "Where is Jack??" Java programmer: "Now, he's in passive mode." 5:30 PM: Project manager: "Could I see Jack in rest of my life?" Java programmer: "No, never, he has been garbage collected."

How many Java programers dose it take to change a light bulb? None – It’s a hardare problem!

Chuck Norris is the super class of all classes in Java (including Object class). Chuck Norris can override a final function. Chuck Norris can make a class abstract and final both at same time. Chuck Norris never “try” any code, he directly “catch” the exceptions. Chuck Norris can divide by zero in Java. Chuck Norris can use pointers in JAVA.

There are only 10 kinds of people: Those who know binary and those who don’t!

What’s the difference between drug dealers and computer programmers? Find out...

Common Software Development Cycle

A Java programmer finds himself in front of a final committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or stay in Hell for the rest of the time...

Q: Why do REAL Java programmers wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.

A group of 4 Microsoft .NET programmers and a group of 4 Java programmers are going on a train to an expo. The MS programmers buy a ticket each, and then watch the Java programmers proceed to buy one ticket between them. The MS programmers are intrigued and when they get on the train, they watch the Java programmers to see what they do when the guard comes to check the tickets. It turns out that, before the guard comes, they all cram into the toilet. The guard knocks on the door, and asks for the ticket. The guard takes it from under the door, and slides it back. The MS programmers are all impressed, so on the way back, they buy only one ticket. Only to watch the Java folks get on the train without buying a ticket at all. When they get on the train, the MS people cram into the toilet, as they saw the Java folks on the earlier journey. The Java programmers then knock on the door, and say "Ticket please". The MS programmers slide the ticket under the door, as they saw the...

A bunch of 17 year olds - ClassCast, IllegalArgument and ArrayOutOfBounds - decide to take their chances, and try to get served at the bar. The Bartender takes one look at them, and asks them for ID. ClassCast hands over his fake ID, IllegalArgument hands over his brother Throwable's ID, but ArrayOutOfBounds doesn't have any fake ID. The Bartender says "Sorry guys, you'll have to leave unless I can see some ID". ClassCast pleads with the barman "can't you just bend the rules for us?" and the barman says "Sorry, no Exceptions".